Marvin J. Ashton on the efforts of mothers and fathers

Elder Marvin J. Ashton (1915-1994) served as a member of the Quorum of Twelve Apostles from 1971 until his death in 1994 at age 78.

"The Lord has promised that he will help us in our pursuit of happiness if we will trust in him and follow his path. The abundant life will be ours if we rely on his strength.... Ammon, in his comments to his brother Aaron in the twenty-sixth chapter of Alma, verse 12, points to a way of life that brings security: 'Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things; ...for which we will praise his name forever.' All we need to do to enjoy eternal, happy lives is to live the gospel of Jesus Christ.

"Following one of our recent general conference sessions, a troubled mother approached me and said, 'I need to know what is meant by the statement, "No success can compensate for failure in the home."' Knowing a little of the burdens this friend of mine carries in her mind and heart because of a rebellious, wayward daughter, I shared this meaning with her: I believe we start to fail in the home when we give up on each other. We have not failed until we have quit trying. As long as we are working diligently with love, patience, and long-suffering, despite the odds or the apparent lack of progress, we are not classified as failures in the home. We only start to fail when we give up on a son, daughter, mother, or father."

- Marvin J. Ashton, "Love of the Right," Ensign, June 1971, pp. 31-32
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President David O. McKay was the first to use the famous statement, "No other success can compensate for failure in the home."

“The home is the first and most effective place for children to learn the lessons of life: truth, honor, virtue, self-control; the value of education, honest work, and the purpose and privilege of life. Nothing can take the place of home in rearing and teaching children, and no other success can compensate for failure in the home.”
- Family Home Evening Manual[1968], iii

The intent of the line, of course, was to teach and emphasize priorities in life; achievements in the community or workplace are far less significant than "rearing and teaching children" in the home. Elder Ashton's tender description of a mother who struggled with an apparent "failure" in her childrearing points out how careful we all need to be with generalizations, and he helps provide a better perspective on what the intent of the remark was and is:

There is profound truth in the opening words of this excerpt, that applies to individuals and families:

"The Lord has promised that he will help us in our pursuit of happiness if we will trust in him and follow his path. The abundant life will be ours if we rely on his strength."