Elder Marvin J. Ashton on charity

Elder Marvin J. Ashton (1915-1994) served as a member of the Quorum of Twelve Apostles from 1971 until his death in 1994 at age 78.

"Charity is, perhaps, in many ways a misunderstood word. We often equate charity with visiting the sick, taking in casseroles to those in need, or sharing our excess with those who are less fortunate. But really, true charity is much, much more.

"Real charity is not something you give away; it is something that you acquire and make a part of yourself. And when the virtue of charity becomes implanted in your heart, you are never the same again. It makes the thought of being a basher repulsive.

"Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don't judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone's differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn't handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another's weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other."

- Marvin J Ashton, "The Tongue Can Be a Sharp Sword," General Conference April 1992, pp. 18-19
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Elder Ashton was a kind and sensitive man in many ways. This advice, about how we treat one another, is a great example. I appreciated the introduction about what "real charity" is; not just the acts of public service, but the virtue that gets planted deep in our hearts and helps us understand our relationships to each other.

Even when we are wronged, charity helps us treat another person with love and forgiveness. What a wonderful gift! Since charity is the "pure love of Christ," we are blessed to see how He exemplified this quality in His life. Part of this is seeing differences but accepting and respecting them; recognizing weakness but working to help others; and truly expressing love to all around us.

(Compilation and commentary by David Kenison, Orem, Utah, 2022)
February 16, 2016

Elder Robert D. Hales on caring for one another

Elder Robert D. Hales (August 24, 1932-October 1, 2017) served as a Seventy from 1976 to 1985, when he was called as a member of the Quorum of Twelve Apostles.

"Our responsibilities are clear; we are to: 

"Reach out in love and be anxious to forgive those who have wronged us. 

"Help by fellowshipping and caring for those who want to come back, receiving them with open arms and willing hands. 

"We must do as Jude, the brother of James, admonished: 

"'Have compassion, making a difference' (Jude 1:22). 

"There are principles that will help us to 'have compassion, making a difference.' These principles are encompassed in Luke, chapter 15, where Jesus used three parables to give us examples of the importance He placed on finding those who are lost and rendering 'compassion, making a difference.'" 

- Robert D. Hales, "Some Have Compassion, Making a Difference," General Conference April 1987
Click here to read the full talk

This is wise counsel from Elder Hales, about some of the ways we can make a difference in the lives of those around us.

There are so many ways we can help, depending on the needs of those we are trying to help! Inspiration will help lead us in the right direction. But I'm expecially intrigued by the simple phrase that Elder Hales quotes from the book of Jude:

Having compassion is the first step—being sensitive and caring, "feeling with" those around us as we strive to understand their challenges or burdens.

And then making a difference. That's a simple statement. We don't have to change the world, make everything all better, fix all the problems. We just need to make a difference. That is often the thing that enables the Savior to then step in and continue the process with more complete healing or re-directing.

And so our call is to "reach out in love and be anxious to forgive." What a great quest. Where would the Lord have me make a difference today?

 

(Compilation and commentary by David Kenison, Orem, Utah, 2021)
March 16, 2015

Elder Dale G. Renlund on dealing with unfairness by reaching out

Elder Dale G. Renlund (born November 13, 1952) served in the First Quorum of Seventy starting in 2009, until his call to the Quorum of Twelve in October 2015.

"How we deal with advantages and disadvantages is part of life’s test. We will be judged not so much by what we say but by how we treat the vulnerable and disadvantaged. As Latter-day Saints, we seek to follow the Savior’s example, to go about doing good. We demonstrate our love for our neighbor by working to ensure the dignity of all Heavenly Father’s children.

"With our own advantages and disadvantages in mind, reflection is healthy.... To try to see things with an eternal perspective can be clarifying. As we become more like the Savior, we develop more empathy, understanding, and charity.

"...all that is unfair about life can be made right through the Atonement of Jesus Christ and that by His authority families can be joined together forever.

"When faced with unfairness, we can push ourselves away from God or we can be drawn toward Him for help and support."

- Dale G. Renlund, "Infuriating Unfairness," General Conference April 2021, Saturday afternoon

This talk for me was one of the highlights of the April 2021 conference. I was grateful to see Elder Renlund confronting real, challenging issues. There truly is so much unfairness in life, as we perceive it. As we ponder it, we truly can become infuriated. Perhaps we should become infuriated, at least at the portion of that unfairness that is created by man's choices and actions.

Elder Renlund provided some important thoughts to ponder on the issues of the unfairness of life. He presented possible explanations, recommendations for how we respond, and encouragement to maintain perspective.

For those of us who generally fall into the "advantaged" camp, Elder Renlund gave this advice:

This is very wise counsel. In most cases, there is not much we can do about how the "unfairness" impacts us. But therre is much we can do about how we respond, and in particular, how we help those who are suffering greater disadvantages than we are. We need to "go about doing good" and succoring our neighbor. As we follow Christ's example, we become more like Him, and feel His joy.

(Compilation and commentary by David Kenison, Orem, Utah, 2021)

Elder Gary E. Stevenson on treating others with kindness

Elder Gary E. Stevenson (born August 5, 1955) was called as a Seventy in 2008, then as Presiding Bishop in 2012. He was called as a member of the Quorum of Twelve Apostles in October 2015.

"As we look through a gospel lens, we recognize that we too are under the watchcare of a compassionate caregiver, who extends Himself in kindness and a nurturing spirit. The Good Shepherd knows each one of us by name and has a personal interest in us. The Lord Jesus Christ Himself said: 'I am the good shepherd, and know my sheep. … And I [will] lay down my life for the sheep' (John 10:14-15).

"On this holy Easter weekend, I find abiding peace in knowing that 'the Lord is my shepherd'(Psalm 23:1) and that each of us is known by Him and under His kind watchcare. When we confront life’s wind and rainstorms, sickness and injuries, the Lord—our Shepherd, our Caregiver—will nourish us with love and kindness. He will heal our hearts and restore our souls."

- Gary E. Stevenson, "Hearts Knit Together," General Conference April 2021 Saturday morning

Elder Stevenson began his address with the story of a lab researcher who expressed affection and warmth to the rabbits in the study, and noticed significant health changes. That study has had lasting impacts in the medical community. He used that example to talk about the importance of us treating others with kindness and understanding. As adults in particular, we have the responsibility to "set a tone and be role models of kindness, inclusion, and civility—to teach Christlike behavior to the rising generation in what we say and how we act."

As we live our lives with a spirit of kindness and love towards others, we feel more of the spirit of the Savior and His blessings.

Sometimes we have to be kind even to those who disappoint or hurt us. The Savior does that for us; He is the ultimate "compassionate caregiver." I love the phrase from Isaiah: "In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment; but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the Lord thy Redeemer." (Isa 54:8, emphasis added.) 

(Compilation and commentary by David Kenison, Orem, Utah, 2021)

President Dallin H. Oaks on communicating with love and understanding

President Dallin H. Oaks (born August 12, 1932) served as president of BYU from 1971-1980.  He was then appointed as a justice of the Utah Supreme Court, and resigned when he was called to the Quorum of Twelve Apostles in 1984. He became President of the Quorum of Twelve Apostles and also 1st Counselor in the First Presidency in January 2018.

"The Savior taught that contention is a tool of the devil. That surely teaches against some of the current language and practices of politics. Living with policy differences is essential to politics, but policy differences need not involve personal attacks that poison the process of government and punish participants. All of us should banish hateful communications and practice civility for differences of opinion.

"The most important setting to forgo contention and practice respect for differences is in our homes and family relationships. Differences are inevitable—some minor and some major. As to major differences, suppose a family member is in a cohabitation relationship. That brings two important values into conflict—our love for the family member and our commitment to the commandments. Following the Savior’s example, we can show loving-kindness and still be firm in the truth by forgoing actions that facilitate or seem to condone what we know to be wrong."

- Dallin H. Oaks, "Loving Others and Living with Differences," General Conference October 2014
Click here to read or listen to the full talk

We live in challenging times. Our communication system is far more extensive than it ever has been; we are able to be informed rapidly of events around the world, through a variety of communication media, both formal and informal. In the midst of this "information onslaught" we sometimes are exposed to very strongly voiced opinions from different points of view, and often those opinions are expressed aggressively, harshly, and critically. That seems almost to be expected in political discussions; President Oaks warns that the "personal attacks" now so common in that arena can "poison the process of government." Truly, we can see that "contention is a tool of the devil" that we must learn to avoid.

While the world of political discussion is one area to be concerned about, President Oaks points out that our family settings are far more critical. Differences of opinion will occur in the home; but how we respond to them can tell a lot about the depth of our discipleship. There are fine lines to be drawn between loving acceptance and commitment to God's standards. We must never forget that both are needful. And some have a tendency to forget that love, mercy, and charity are among the greatest qualities of the Savior and His disciples.

(Compilation and commentary by David Kenison, Orem, Utah, 2019)

President James E. Faust on the influence of love and kindness

President James E. Faust (1920-2007) was called as a Seventy in 1976, then as a member of the Quorum of Twelve in 1978. He served as a counselor to President Hinckley from 1995 until his death in 2007 at age 87.

"No matter what circumstances you sisters experience, your influence can be marvelously far-reaching. I believe some of you have a tendency to underestimate your profound capacity for blessing the lives of others. More often than not, it is not on the stage with some public pronouncement but in your example of righteousness and the countless gentle acts of love and kindness done so willingly, so often on a one-to-one basis."

- James E. Faust, "You Are All Heaven Sent," General Relief Society Meeting, October 2002
Click here to read or listen to the full talk

President Faust shared this message at the General Relief Society Meeting held in connection with the October 2002 General Conference. He was speaking to an audience of sisters, and addressed their specific gifts, opportunities, and challenges. But perhaps many brothers can also seek to learn from this counsel—the doctrines and principles certainly apply equally!

We all do sometimes underestimate our own ability to do good in the lives of others. As we strive to open up, reach out, and lift others, our efforts are magnified and amplified, and God's most important work can be accomplished. It is often through "gentle acts of love and kindness" that we truly bless and strengthen one another.

(Compilation and commentary by David Kenison, Orem, Utah, 2019)

President George Albert Smith on expressing kindness to others

President George Albert Smith (1870-1951) was the son of John Henry Smith (1848-1911) and grandson of George A. Smith (1817-1875), both of whom served as members of the Twelve. He was called as an apostle in 1903, and then served as the 8th president of the Church from 1945 until his death in 1951.

"I stand here tonight to speak of a man who has several years ago gone home. … I refer to Francis M. Lyman [of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles] and I want to say to you that that great man was as tender as a baby, just as tender as a little child, and his desire to help and encourage was beautiful. I have heard him compliment his brethren many times when they have done something praiseworthy—one had delivered a fine address, another had borne a convincing testimony, another had done something else praiseworthy. I have seen him put his arm around them and say, 'I am proud of you and the fine thing you have done.' Is not that a commendable way to live? That is the way to make ourselves happy. If, instead of being jealous, we see and appreciate and commend the virtues and abilities of our fellows, if we see the power for good in [others], how much better it will be.

"Many of us live in such an atmosphere that we are almost dumb when it comes to praising somebody else. We seem unable to say the things that we might say … to the blessing of others. Let us look for the virtues of our associates and observing them make them happy by commending them."

- George Albert Smith, "To the Relief Society," Relief Society Magazine, Dec. 1932, 707; See "Teachings of Presidents of the Church: George Albert Smith" pp. 226-227

President Smith in this excerpt is encouraging us in a practice that he demonstrates himself by pointing out someone else in whom he recognized the quality. We should say kind things about others, so President Smith said kind things about one of his predecessors. Elder Francis R. Lyman is a fascinating but little-known leader. He was called as an apostle in 1880 at age 40. He became the President of the Twelve in 1903 and served in that role, during the presidency of Joseph F. Smith, until his death in 1916. The tribute given to him by President Smith is a wonderful indication of his character, and a marvelous example for us to emulate.

What a great quality to cultivate in our lives! As we seek to be kind and praising to others, we will find wonderful opportunities to serve and bless some who might need our encouraging words.

(Compilation and commentary by David Kenison, Orem, Utah, 2019)

President Dallin H. Oaks on the importance of kindness

President Dallin H. Oaks (born August 12, 1932) served as president of BYU from 1971-1980.  He was then appointed as a justice of the Utah Supreme Court, and resigned when he was called to the Quorum of Twelve Apostles in 1984. He became President of the Quorum of Twelve Apostles and also 1st Counselor in the First Presidency in January 2018.

"Be kind to others. Kindness is something many of our youth are doing already. Some groups of youth in some communities have shown the way for all of us. We have been inspired by our young people’s acts of kindness to those in need of love and help. In many ways, you give that help and show that love to one another. We wish all would follow your example.

"At the same time, we know that the adversary tempts all of us to be unkind, and there are still many examples of this, even among children and youth. Persistent unkindness is known by many names, such as bullying, ganging up on someone, or joining together to reject others. These examples deliberately inflict pain on classmates or friends. My young sisters, it is not pleasing to the Lord if we are cruel or mean to others."

- Dallin H. Oaks, "Parents and Children," General Conference October 2018
Click here to read or listen to the full talk

Speaking to the General Women's Session of the recent conference, and addressing remarks to the young women in the audience and in the Church, President Oaks gave some general reminders of counsel that would encourage them as they strive to do what's right. We live in a time when the virtue of kindness seems to be fading, and so this was timely:

The phrase "simple acts of kindness" has become common in recent years, but perhaps the deeds themselves need to be more common. The phrase emphasizes that it doesn't take much effort to be kind. There are so many ways our little acts of service and love can make a difference. This is a good reminder for us all.

(Compilation and commentary by David Kenison, Orem, Utah, 2018)

Elder Neil L. Andersen on showing kindness and love to all men

Elder Neil L. Andersen (born August 9, 1951) served as a Seventy beginning in 1993, and was called to the Quorum of Twelve Apostles in 2009.

"Everyone, independent of his or her decisions and beliefs, deserves our kindness and consideration.

"The Savior taught us to love not only our friends but also those who disagree with us—and even those who repudiate us. He said: 'For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? … And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others?' (Matthew 5:46–47.)

"The Prophet Joseph Smith warned us to 'beware of self-righteousness' and to enlarge our hearts toward all men and women until we feel 'to take them upon our shoulders.' (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith (2007), 427, 429.) In the gospel of Jesus Christ, there is no place for ridicule, bullying, or bigotry."

- Neil L. Andersen, "Spiritual Whirlwinds," General Conference April 2014
Click here to read or listen to the full talk

How do we treat those around us who have different beliefs, different backgrounds, different cultures, different lifestyles? Even those in our midst, or fellow Church-members or family members who may have other understandings or life choices than those we find preferable or acceptable—do we continue to treat them with "kindness and consideration"? Elder Andersen counsels us on this aspect of true Christianity:

It is often easy to love or to accept those who believe, practice, and behave in ways we find most appropriate or most similar to ourselves. But that does not ever excuse treating others with differing beliefs in ways that are less than kind. A true Christian would never fall into any aspect of "ridicule, bullying, or bigotry." In fact, perhaps one of the greatest marks of true Christian discipleship is how we treat those we disagree with!

(Compilation and commentary by David Kenison, Orem, Utah, 2018)

Elder Dale G. Renlund on treating others with love and respect

Elder Dale G. Renlund (born November 13, 1952) served in the First Quorum of Seventy starting in 2009, until his call to the Quorum of Twelve in October 2015.

"Those who have been persecuted for any reason know what unfairness and bigotry feel like. As a teenager living in Europe in the 1960s, I felt that I was repeatedly picked on and bullied because I was an American and because I was a member of the Church. Some of my schoolmates treated me as though I were personally responsible for unpopular U.S. foreign policies. I was also treated as though my religion were an affront to the nations in which I lived because it differed from state-sponsored religion. Later, in various countries across the world, I have had small glimpses into the ugliness of prejudice and discrimination suffered by those who are targeted because of their race or ethnicity.

"Persecution comes in many forms: ridicule, harassment, bullying, exclusion and isolation, or hatred toward another. We must guard against bigotry that raises its ugly voice toward those who hold different opinions. Bigotry manifests itself, in part, in unwillingness to grant equal freedom of expression. Everyone, including people of religion, has the right to express his or her opinions in the public square. But no one has a license to be hateful toward others as those opinions are expressed.

"Church history gives ample evidence of our members being treated with hatred and bigotry. How ironically sad it would be if we were to treat others as we have been treated. The Savior taught, 'Whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them' (Matthew 7:12). For us to ask for respect, we must be respectful. Furthermore, our genuine conversion brings 'meekness, and lowliness of heart,' which invites 'the Holy Ghost [and fills us with] perfect love' (Moroni 8:26), an 'unfeigned love' (1 Peter 1:22) for others."

- Dale G. Renlund, "Our Good Shepherd," General Conference April 2017
Click here to read or listen to the full talk

It seems that in recent years, we have been losing some of the civility and manners that used to mark society. Instead, we see increasing "ridicule, harassment, bullying, exclusion and isolation, or hatred" in so many public interactions. Elder Renlund reminds us that "the ugliness of prejudice and discrimination" have no place in our lives and attitudes.

We must never forget that the right to express opinions is a fundamental opportunity that we should never deny others; opinions should be respected and considered. Even if we disagree, that does not give us the right to be "hateful toward others"; not only should we be respectful, but the love of Christ and concern for others should influence all of our actions and attitudes.

(Compilation and commentary by David Kenison, Orem, Utah, 2018)

Elder Ronald A. Rasband on feeling the Savior's love and loving others

Elder Ronald A. Rasband (b. February 6, 1951) served as a Seventy beginning in 2000.  He was the senior president of the Seventy when he was called to the Quorum of Twelve Apostles in October 2015.

"Try to view others through a lens of fairness. To do this requires you to first acknowledge that Heavenly Father loves all of His children equally. He has said, 'Love one another; as I have loved you' (John 13:34). There is no choice, sin, or mistake that you or anyone else can make that will change His love for you or for them. That does not mean He excuses or condones sinful conduct; nor do we, in ourselves or in others. But that does mean we reach out in love to persuade, to help, and to rescue.

"When you feel completely and perfectly loved, it is much easier to love others and to see them the way the Savior does. Please turn to our Savior in prayer and ask to receive His pure love both for yourself and for others. He has promised that you will feel His love if you ask in faith."

- Ronald A. Rasband, "Religious Freedom and Fairness for All," BYU Devotional 8/15/15
Click here to read or listen to the full talk

Elder Rasband suggests that we can treat each other better, with more fairness, if we understand the important nature of God's love for us. He loves us perfectly and constantly, regardless of our choices and actions, our mistakes or sins. He loves all His children with that same love. As we understand and remember that concept, it should impact how we treat those around us:

Something important happens when we truly feel God's love for us and understand our relationship to Him. Then we can begin to express that same love to others. How critically important it is for us to turn to the Savior in our lives, and to receive that blessing of understanding!

(Compilation and commentary by David Kenison, Orem, Utah, 2018)

President Heber C. Kimball on living in kindness to all creatures

President Heber C. Kimball (June 14, 1801-1868) was a member of the first Quorum of Twelve Apostles ordained in this dispensation in 1835. He served as first counselor to Brigham Young from 1847 until his death in 1868 at age 67. He was the grandfather of Spencer W. Kimball, who became an apostle in 1943 and served as president of the Church from 1973-1985. His great-great-grandson, Quentin L. Cook, currently serves as an apostle.

"It has been said, 'A man needs a portion of the Spirit to drive oxen.' [Voice in the stand: 'Yes, a double portion of it.'] I know, as well as I know my name is Heber C. Kimball, that a spirit of kindness in a man will beget the same in his animal, in his child, or in persons over whom he exercises control. The Holy Ghost in the people of God will control not only our domestic animals, our families, our servants, and our handmaids, but it will control the armies of men that are in the world, the mountains, seas, streams of water, tempests, famines, and pestilence, and every destructive power, that they come not nigh unto us, just as much as we can keep sickness from us by the power of faith and prayer and good works. If we live our religion, we shall never suffer as the world suffers. We shall not be perplexed with famine and pestilence, with the caterpillar, and other destructive insects, which the Lord will send in the last days to afflict the wicked.

"God will sustain us, if we will sustain him and be his friends. But how can you be his friends, except you are friends to his cause and to his servants? You cannot find favor with your God while you are opposed to his authority, or to the ordinances and regulations of his house."

- Heber C. Kimball, remarks delivered in the Salt Lake Tabernacle, October 7, 1859; see Journal of Discourses 7:330
Click here to read the complete talk

I love this insight. The virtue of kindness is not frequently discussed, but according to President Kimball, it has remarkable power to influence for good—starting with animals, but extending to our relationships with those close to us, and with the larger situations we encounter in the world.

It's interesting how closely the Holy Ghost is associated with kindness in this description. As we act with kindness, the Holy Ghost is more able to attend our actions and our service.

Kindness is certainly an attribute we would attribute to the Savior; his tender affection towards children, to those who struggle with disease or afflictions, and even towards sinners are some of the best-known examples from His mortal life. We would do well to emulate that spirit!

(Compilation and commentary by David Kenison, Orem, Utah, 2018)

Elder Marvin J. Ashton on the evidence of conversion to Christ

Elder Marvin J. Ashton (1915-1994) served as a member of the Quorum of Twelve Apostles from 1971 until his death in 1994 at age 78.

"It seems interesting that the first principles the Lord Jesus Christ chose to teach His newly called Apostles were those that center around the way we treat each other. And then, what did He emphasize during the brief period He spent with the Nephites on this continent? Basically the same message. Could this be because the way we treat each other is the foundation of the gospel of Jesus Christ?

"During an informal fireside address held with a group of adult Latter-day Saints, the leader directing the discussion invited participation by asking the question: 'How can you tell if someone is converted to Jesus Christ?' For forty-five minutes those in attendance made numerous suggestions in response to this question, and the leader carefully wrote down each answer on a large blackboard. All of the comments were thoughtful and appropriate. But after a time, this great teacher erased everything he had written. Then, acknowledging that all of the comments had been worthwhile and appreciated, he taught a vital principle: 'The best and most clear indicator that we are progressing spiritually and coming unto Christ is the way we treat other people.'

"Would you consider this idea for a moment—that the way we treat the members of our families, our friends, those with whom we work each day is as important as are some of the more noticeable gospel principles we sometimes emphasize.

"Last month the Relief Society celebrated its 150th anniversary. Its motto, 'Charity Never Faileth,' has been a way of life for its members and others around the globe.

"Imagine what could happen in today’s world—or in our own wards, or families, or priesthood quorums and auxiliaries—if each of us would vow to cherish, watch over, and comfort one another. Imagine the possibilities!"

- Marvin J. Ashton, "The Tongue Can Be a Sharp Sword," General Conference April 1992
Click here to read or listen to the full talk

This was a classic address by Elder Ashton, filled with insight and wise counsel. What an important and true insight: "The way we treat each other is the foundation of the gospel of Jesus Christ." I love the story about a fireside discussion during which the speaker invited thoughts about evidence of true conversion, and then summarized with a very clear and concise statement:

How true that is! Being a disciple of Christ means nothing if it doesn't focus on the way we treat others. His message, His way is the way of service and love to those around us. As we continue to grasp the truth and importance of that divine and eternal principle, we will be blessed and we will be instruments in His hands to do much good.

(Compilation and commentary by David Kenison, Orem, Utah, 2018)

President Russell M. Nelson on learning tolerance and understanding

President Russell M. Nelson (born Sept 9, 1924) was an internationally-renowned heart surgeon when he was called to serve as a member of the Quorum of Twelve Apostles in 1984. He became president of that quorum on July 15, 2015. Following the death of President Monson, he was set apart as president of the Church on January 14, 2018.

"How different our world would be if all parents would apply this inspired instruction from the Book of Mormon: 'Ye will not suffer your children... that they transgress the laws of God, and fight and quarrel one with another....

"'But ye will teach them to walk in the ways of truth and soberness; ye will teach them to love one another, and to serve one another.' (Mosiah 4:14–15; see also Rom. 12:18.)

"If such training occurred, children and parents around this globe would join in singing, 'Fill our hearts with sweet forgiving; Teach us tolerance and love.' (Hymns, 1985, no. 172.) Men and women would respect their neighbors and the beliefs held sacred by them. No longer would ethnic jokes and cultural slurs be acceptable. The tongue of the tolerant speaks no guile."

- Russell M. Nelson, "Teach Us Tolerance and Love," General Conference, April 1994
Click here to read or listen to the full talk

In today's world, we see many signs of fading tolerance and understanding. So much suspicion exists instead; such a lack of trust and faith in others. How important that we learn to be aware and cautious, but loving and tolerant as well!  And to teach these qualities to our children and youth:

President Nelson points out that a good sign of this spirit of tolerance, or its lack, might lie in how we treat others who have beliefs that are different from our own—particularly "the beliefs held sacred by them." Earlier in this talk, he states this:

"I marvel at the inspiration of the Prophet Joseph Smith when he penned the eleventh article of faith: 'We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.' [A of F 1:11]"

That's a wonderful, Christlike spirit to cultivate.

(Compilation and commentary by David Kenison, Orem, Utah, 2018)

President Howard W. Hunter on self-evaluation and the real impact of our lives

President Howard W. Hunter (1907-1995) was called to the Quorum of Twelve in 1959.  He served as Church President from June 5, 1994 to his death on March 3, 1995.

"As we evaluate our lives, it is important that we look, not only at our accomplishments, but also at the conditions under which we have labored. We are all different and unique individuals; we have each had different starting points in the race of life; we each have a unique mixture of talents and skills; we each have our own set of challenges and constraints to contend with. Therefore, our judgment of ourselves and our achievements should not merely include the size or magnitude and number of our accomplishments; it should also include the conditions that have existed and the effect that our efforts have had on others.

"It is this last aspect of our self-evaluation—the effect of our lives on the lives of others—that will help us understand why some of the common, ordinary work of life should be valued so highly. Frequently it is the commonplace tasks that have the greatest positive effect on the lives of others, as compared with the things that the world so often relates to greatness."

- Howard W. Hunter, "True Greatness," General Conference April 1982
Click here to read or listen to the full talk

It's almost impossible not to compare ourselves with others, in evaluating achievements and position in life. But President Hunter points out that it's very easy to evaluate ourselves unfairly, when all we see is the visible, public accomplishments. Other factors he mentions include:

• Our starting point in life, which may vary greatly from others
• The talents and stills we have to work with
• The challenges and constraints, unique to each life, that we contend with

Any judgement of achievements should include a realistic evaluation of all these aspects. And one more thing we often neglect—what has truly been the impact on others around us?

Sometimes the greatest and most eternally-significant accomplishments lie in the small, quiet impact that we might have on others as we serve, interact, share, teach, support, minister, or bless. President Hunter reminds us that often those "commonplace tasks" of life are what really matters most!

(Compilation and commentary by David Kenison, Orem, Utah, 2018)

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland on maturing in our vision and our service

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland (born December 3, 1940) served as Church Commissioner of Education from 1976-1980, as the president of BYU from 1980-1989, as a Seventy from 1989-1994, and as a member of the Quorum of Twelve Apostles since 1994.

"Brothers and sisters, as the work of quorums and auxiliaries matures institutionally, it follows that we should mature personally as well—individually rising above any mechanical, function-without-feeling routine to the heartfelt discipleship articulated by the Savior at the conclusion of His earthly ministry. As He prepared to leave His still-innocent and somewhat-confused little band of followers, He did not list a dozen administrative steps they had to take or hand them a fistful of reports to be filled out in triplicate. No, He summarized their task in one fundamental commandment: 'Love one another; as I have loved you.... By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.' (John 13:34–35.) ...

"Brothers and sisters, we have a heaven-sent opportunity as an entire Church to demonstrate 'pure religion… undefiled before God' (James 1:27)—'to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light' and to 'comfort those that stand in need of comfort' (Mosiah 18:8–9), to minister to the widows and the fatherless, the married and the single, the strong and the distraught, the downtrodden and the robust, the happy and the sad—in short, all of us, every one of us, because we all need to feel the warm hand of friendship and hear the firm declaration of faith. However, I warn you, a new name, new flexibility, and fewer reports won’t make an ounce of difference in our service unless we see this as an invitation to care for one another in a bold, new, holier way, as President Nelson has just said. As we lift our spiritual eyes toward living the law of love more universally, we pay tribute to the generations who have served that way for years."

- Jeffrey R. Holland, "Be With and Strengthen Them," General Conference, April 2018
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Elder Holland had the assignment in the recent general conference to speak, following President Nelson's announcement of changes to home and visiting teaching, and give elaboration and explanation about what that change meant. His remarks were wonderful and inspiring, helping to set the standard for a higher vision of what it means to minister to one another. As programs and practices change, and important key is the call for each of us to change and grow as well in both our vision or understanding, and in our actions of service and caring. The call to "love one another" has never been clearer, and has never been more crucial.

One thing that has not changed is the call to care for "all of us, every one of us, because we all need to feel the warm hand of friendship and hear the firm declaration of faith." Elder Holland spoke beautifully about the power that comes as we truly care and service. With the vision of the Savior's call, and His example, firmly in our minds and hearts, we now have the opportunity to go forth and bless one another in wonderful ways!

(Compilation and commentary by David Kenison, Orem, Utah, 2018)

President Gordon B. Hinckley on striving for excellence

President Gordon B. Hinckley (1910-2008) was called to the Quorum of Twelve in 1961. He served as a counselor in the First Presidency from 1981-1995, then as Church President until his death in 2008.

"There is a sign on the gate of this campus that reads: 'Enter to learn; go forth to serve.'

"I invite you, every one of you, to make that your motto. Mediocrity will never do. You are capable of something better. Give it your very best. You will never again have such an opportunity. Pray about it. Work at it. Make it happen. Drink in the great knowledge here to be obtained from this dedicated faculty. Qualify yourselves for the work of the world that lies ahead. It will largely compensate you in terms of what it thinks you are worth. Walk the high road of charity, respect, and love for others and particularly those who are less fortunate. Be happy. Look for the sunlight in life. Reach for the stars."

- Gordon B. Hinckley, "Remarks at the Inauguration of President Cecil O. Samuelson," BYU, Sep. 9, 2003
Click here to read or listen to the full talk

These remarks were addressed to a gathering of mostly students at BYU when Cecil O. Samuelson was inaugurated as the new BYU president in 2003. However, the principles apply broadly to all of us, young or old, formal student or informal learner. President Hinckley was always very optimistic, but also very inviting and challenging for all to do their very best, to try harder, to be more committed to the things they knew were true and right. He doesn't want mediocre efforts; he encouraged us to do our very best:

Success in learning, like success in most areas, doesn't come free. As President Hinckley notes, we must work hard, we must pray, and be very diligent to take advantages of the opportunities that are presented to us.

His final encouragement regarding our attitudes towards others is more general—to be kind and charitable to those around us. And then, never forget that optimistic outlook for which President Hinckley is well remembered: "Be happy. Look for the sunlight in life. Reach for the stars." Great counsel.

(Compilation and commentary by David Kenison, Orem, Utah, 2018)